Blasphemy

Blasphemy is truly a sin of high order. While there are many forms of blasphemy, rest asured that if you are here, we do not for a moment believe that you engaged in such behavior purely by accident; we don't suspect that you were merely reading someone else's words aloud. Rather we respect the fact that you stood up on whatever soap-box might have been convenient, proudly declaring for whatever crown and passers-by may have been within earshot that God is, indeed, dead! (Or whatever god or gods, by whatever names you may call them) (And you may have declared them, rather than to be dead, to be something even more interesting or curious - maybe you made the interesting observation that Jack's mother had a threesome wtih Loki and Brighid)

In any case, blasphemy is truly a worthy sin of note, and thus deserving of penance. You are herby remanded to the harsh treatment of which ever deity you may have insulted until such time as you make proper amends. Such amends, in this case consist of:

You shall remand yourself to some dark alley with a piece of chalk (Unless you can find a suitable chalk-board in a more public location). There shall ye write upon what surface may be present the following:

Lady (Or Lord) n_______________ I have sinned against thee and vow not to repeat that sin. Thou art great and worthy always of my praise and respect.

This shalt thou write once upon each brick within thy reach for each time thou has committed this sin. (Or until someone witnesses thee and threatens to call the police.)

back to confessional