It’s midnight here on WSCA-LP, 106.1 FM, Portsmouth Community Radio, and you’re listening to PaganFM!
I’m Dee, your trans-sister DJ, and I’ll be with you until 2:00 am.
Earlier this week, I sent an email to Dr. Bridget Melson, a psychotherapist in
I received an email reply, that was unexpectedly polite, respectful, and to the point.
The questions I asked were in relation to Proposition 8, a
proposition to amend the California Constitution to define marriage as between
one man and one woman. This came about after
Many conservatives in
Dr. Melson is quite outspoken in her opposition to gay marriage, and is a proponent of Proposition 8. I decided to ask her the following questions, and these were her responses.
How can the marriage
of a heterosexual couple in any way be harmed by a
homosexual couple being married?
In my opinion it does not harm hetero couples as it harms us as a nation. Christian or not, our nation was founded on God and His morals and ethics. If we throw marriage away or attempt to redefine it, for the first time we will be legalizing what I consider to be evil over good. If we continue to compromise our morals, what will happen next? Yes moral decline is inevitable--it has been happening for years--I am just trying to delay it by preserving marriage.
How can granting the
same civil rights that a heterosexual couple enjoys, to
a homosexual couple, in any way infringe on the rights of the heterosexual
You must understand that as a Christian God clearly states that marriage is to be between a man and a woman, and that homosexuality is wrong (Lev.18:22). To those who do not believe in God at all--I have no battle or concern--those people have a different moral code than I. However, being that we are a nation under God, marriage needs to remain between a man and a woman.
How does the inclusion
of the words "deny the rights of homosexual
couples" harm the potential amendment? Is that not simply stating the
purpose for the proposition? What is wrong with admitting the truth behind
the amendment to the voters? Is it wrong to state the truth when it means
that you might look "mean"? Or is it rather permitted to hide the truth in that
If the phrase is the same, then why change the original phrase? Truly though, I agree with you. Either way--in essence it says the same thing.
(note: I asked her to explain this response)
And when a state
adopts a position of "One man and one woman", what
happens to intersexed people, and people with no gender? Who gets to
decide for them whom they might marry?
As far as people who are medically intersexed (from birth) or those with no gender (again by birth), this to me is a separate issue. Each of those situations are individual and separate from what we are dealing with when I talk about homosexuality and the issue of marriage.
What about the case of transsexual individuals?
Again, this would depend on if there was a true gender identity disorder or other psychological issues. My point is only that I am trying to preserve marriage as God intended it to be. If a person chooses to augment their boy and become a transsexual, fine. That is not my concern right now. If a man wants to marry another man, that is not ok--not because I say so, or that I made the rules--but because that is what God says. He rules my life--what I do, how I act, and what I believe.
What is so wrong with
allowing people to decide whom they will marry, and
with allowing churches to decide whose marriages they wish to sanctify?
It is only wrong if we truly are still a nation under God. If not, then we need to take God out of everything public and call this nation what it is--a Godless Nation. I hope that makes sense. I am not trying to be harsh or unreal.
Is this not more about
Christians trying to make the world conform to their
values, rather than living the admonition "Be ye not conformed to the world"?
this nation is founded on God. Honestly, Deidre, if one does not have the
belief system based on God and the Bible, then none of this
matters. In the end times, it is said that people will not believe, that
men will sleep with men, that there will be famine, murder, strife, poverty and
on and on....it will happen, it is happening. I guess I am just trying to slow
it down by following my God, my Heavenly Father. If you do not
believe, I can not change your mind--nor is it my job to. But just as you
are standing up for your beliefs, I am standing up for mine. I have that
right here in
Admittedly, I'm not
part of the Christian faith, and I hope that my questions
don't sound too adversarial, but I would like to hear from
someone who is outspoken in their opposition to gay marriage, just why
these things are the way they are, and just what is the presumed "good"
behind denying civil rights to a significant part of the American population.
appreciate the questions Deidre. Truly. I am not
defensive about any of this, which is nice. I am at peace about it really.
I am just trying to fight for what I believe is morally correct as the gay
population is doing the same for their own reasons. Why? because
I am allowed to---it is
This entire issue is
even more poignant when one considers the fact that marriage, even
in Christian homes, seems to be much of a disposable commodity.
I agree. It makes me very sad to see broken marriages--especially in Christian homes. I mean really people. If we, as Christians can't get it right then how can we judge non-Christians? I am with you on that Deidre. I see the devastation from divorce week after week in my practice. This is why I am calling other Christians out on their "stuff". We, as Christians have let this world down. I am ashamed of them some days, but the good news is that we can always strive to be better, and that is what I will never give up on. This is why I am a teen specialist in my private practice. My goal is to instill a moral code, a value system, and help teens find a solid system of belief. We have enough wishy washy people in this world with no moral backbone. It is time for those of us who really care about our beliefs and are willing to walk the talk (not easy some days, but we are human) to take a stand and be the example God calls us to be.
Honestly, while I disagree with Dr. Melson on a number of points, I think that this is one of the best thought-out and most respectful responses I’ve yet received on this subject. I think that many Christians don’t really understand that the Bible really had little, if anything to say about homosexuality, and that many have become somewhat brainwashed to believe that it says something it really doesn’t.
Still though, I’m not a Christian, and it’s not up to me to tell people what to believe, especially Christians. What’s good though, is being able to have real dialog. I respect anyone who is willing to stand up for what they believe, without fear, and without being defensive. It takes a person who is mature in their faith to do that; a person who has reasoned out what they believe and why.
On some other notes, Here at Portsmouth Community Radio, we’ve been building a news team. As a group, we’re starting to find out just how much work it really is, especially to have people out in the field, reporting on real events. At the moment, we’ve only got a 5-minute or so program on Fridays at 6:00 pm. That show is on our archive schedule, and we’ll soon have it up at portsmouthcommunityradio.org under the archived program section for people to listen to throughout the week. We’re also working on having a news department page, where you can read or print the various stories.
We’re still always looking for people to help out here at the station, and I’m still looking for someone to co-host PaganFM! I know that as it’s from midnight to 2:00 am, it’s not the most attractive time slot, but hey … we’re Pagans … we’re supposed to be up at midnight, right? Seriously though, if you think it’s something you might be interested, please shoot me an email. It’s really not that scary, and I promise not to stick you alone at the mic before you’re ready. Besides, with more than one person involved, there’s no telling what sort of interesting programming we might be able to pull off.
Other new things that are going on here at PaganFM! … I have a friend who is an amazing herbalist. I interviewed her somewhat over a year ago back when I was doing Eros Radio, an we’ve been discussing a short herbal segment for the program. She’s working on that now, and it looks like the first installment will be aired next week. What is left to decide is where, exactly, to put it. Right now we’ve got segments on the hour and the half-hour, so I’m thinking at perhaps 12:45 each week. Really, there are some wonderful ideas for this segment in the works, and I think it’s going to make an amazing addition to the show.
If you’ve got a particular talent you might like to share, please let me know. Are you an astrologer, an expert in Runes or Tarot or some other art? Drop me a line and we’ll see what we can do with it.
Are you a Pagan musician? Would you like to drop by the station during one of the shows and play a set? That’s something else that’s not unheard of, and I’d be more than willing to listen to a demo. This is just as much your show as it is mine.
You can reach me here at the station at 603-430-9722, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org If you’ve ideas, suggestions, comments, by all means, let me know.
Coming up in the program tonight, we’ll have our PaganFM! almanac. On our Pagan Primer, we’ll discuss issues surrounding coming out as a Pagan, and we’ll take a look at another book that’s been around for a while, but which has some important topics for Pagans of today. I also picked up an album that I didn’t have by S. J. Tucker, and we’ll be giving that a spin. So, light up some incense, grab a cup of tea, whatever it is that you do to relax, make yourself comfortable, and I’ll keep you company for a couple of hours.